pro_sephiroth :: Well, it's a new year :: On Date: 2009-02-02 16:01:58
Granted this is a month late but whatever, give us a break. Happy new year everyone! This is a new time for us, we're experimenting with some new things.

nixon :: Zounds! :: On Date: 2008-12-20 06:07:21
Surely faithful readers will remember that Carl has a Batcave? Or should that be Mount Moon? Or should that be CarlCave? No, definitely not that last one. On a side note, have you all played Prince of Persia yet? I'm talkinga bout the new one, not the old ones. It's very good, the kind of quality you've come to expect from Jade Raymond and all her little Grummites at Ubisoft. It handles well, with a few quibbles in wall running and the fact that Elika can get very attached to the Prince in some annoying ways. Anyway, more on that later. For now, comic!

nixon :: Holidays are on the way! :: On Date: 2008-12-16 07:48:06
Wow! That's a month isn't it? Well not quite but it's been a while. How have you been? Been having a good time while I've been away? Glad to hear it. Anyway, there's a new comic up and I do hope you enjoy it. It's the first installment in an epic saga for the Yuletide season that explains the origins and most dastardly doings of a fierce foe. I'm talking about the one and only...Lord Christmas. Be warned, this comic contains lots of text. I mean like...loads. Watch out. It bites.

nixon :: Guess what? :: On Date: 2008-11-24 04:44:19
Its a new comic! And it's a good 'un, go check it out. So I was playing a little game called Left 4 Dead recently and i'm not going to lie, it's totally awesome. It's nice to see a developer tackling running zombies rather than shamblers for a change and they tackle them with such gusto, such bravado that it really does raise the bar for survival horror games. There's some exceptional animation work gone into these nippy blighters and hopefully the team based elements of the game will be enough to finally put a bullet into that gasping, wheezing thing known as Counter Strike.

nixon :: Hey, I enjoyed myself. :: On Date: 2008-11-19 10:00:14
So Gears of War 2 might be old news by now but we still thought it was ripe for parody. The scale was really tipped by the second game. Not only was the action, if you can believe, even more brutal than the first but the sheer size of the environments was staggering. You really feel as if there's a war going on when you jump in there with a friend and it really is a blast. The only real concern is how they're finally going to wrap up what I think is supposed to be a storyline, but Cliff Bleszinski has another few years and another few billion bollars before he has to start worrying about that.

nixon :: Yeah :: On Date: 2008-11-16 05:42:20
This comic is completely ridiculous. I mean, what exactly was the thinking behind it? I don't know and you won't either. Just go enjoy your funny.

nixon :: Captains log: Addendum :: On Date: 2008-11-10 14:01:46
Sorry, I forgot to mention this previously, Yes Jamie is still dead. He's in the Halloween strip because it was meant to go up much earlier than this. Apologies.

nixon :: Well... :: On Date: 2008-11-10 13:47:29
Holy fuck! How long has it been? I'll tell you how long. TOO long. It's a travesty is what it is, and I wont stand for it. I shall find the ones responsible and I SHALL bring them to justice. It's only a matter of time....AAAAAAAaaaaanyway here's a very, VERY late seasonal comic. Wait...is Halloween a season? No. No I suppose it isn't now, is it?

nixon :: oh dear oh Lor... :: On Date: 2008-10-16 03:06:55
Well it's finally happened. I am dead now. I'm actually writing this from beyond the grave. That sick little tinkertoy may have gained the upper hand this time but I shall have my revenge. You hear me!? I shall have my REVENGE!! Anyway, go read the new comic. On the Drifters next time, Dancing Bears!, Piracy!, Variety!, and Pleasure!

nixon :: Look yonder! :: On Date: 2008-10-15 13:09:24
Hi ho my tiny tiny children. Our good friend and contributor Adrian has just tossed another explosive review into the fray with his opinions on the controversial Bullet Witch. Why controversial you might ask? Because no other bugger thinks it's any good. Take a gander in the reviews section. If you don't know where the reviews section is just click on the MEDIA button. if you still can't get to it then please fall in a well and die.

nixon :: Oh yes... :: On Date: 2008-10-13 10:29:17
Yes we are in a bit of a pickle right now aren't we? Seems like the whole world is going tits up and no-one seems to want to do anything about it. Genius! I hope next week we're burning coma patients as a new perishable fuel source! HOO-FUCKING-RAY! Anyway, enjoy the new funny.

nixon :: A tribute to a Snake :: On Date: 2008-10-01 12:11:34
Today's comic comes straight from the pile of filler, I'll give you that, but I felt I should put it up since I'm particularly happy with it plus I managed to play MGS 4 for the first time the other day...at 4am...while I was drunk...but It was still pretty damn awesome. Since I don't own a PS3 I've been looking forward to playing it for a while and it played pretty much exactly as I thought it would which is a testament to excellent game design considering I was seeing 4 snakes at once. (HO HO HO CONTROVERSIAL - ed)

nixon :: May cause severe injury :: On Date: 2008-09-28 12:15:33
The Force Unleashed is good. It's hard but it is very good. It is very hard but it is good. It is hard. It is FUCKING HARD. My only real grievance with the game is that some of the enemies (most of them later on) are pretty much equipped with an "anti- Jedi" device that makes them impervious to the force. That's right. Stormtroopers. The CANNON FODDER OF STAR WARS. IMPERVIOUS TO THE FORCE. There's adding a challenge to the game and then there's just sheer lunacy. Oh, that and the Lightsaber duels are broken in the sense that you don't duel. You just wait until the enemy stops then you stab them. Fun.

pro_sephiroth :: Crysis Warhead :: On Date: 2008-09-27 03:07:06
Whoop, i'll be doing a review of this very soon, so keep checking up, this game is awesome.

nixon :: Continuity at it's finest :: On Date: 2008-09-23 16:33:44
Pure distilled continuity, just like Bubba used to make. Oh god the memories...Anyway. Let's talk about things that make me unhappy. Chris Chan. He makes me unhappy. You should hit up Encyclopedia Dramatica for his perplexing entry onto the internet. I can tolerate autism to a point. Autism makes life a lot more challenging and can manifest itself in many ways, sometimes a nervous tick or in full blown offensive, disjointed behaviour. Chris Chan is the latter proving that what problematic man-children sometimes need is a good kick up the arse.

nixon :: My god... :: On Date: 2008-09-22 10:29:11
Story abound! Yes it is the beginning of a brand new chapter in Drifters history....STORY! Chapter? Story? See what I did there? No? Christ... Just enjoy the comic.

nixon :: Seriously... :: On Date: 2008-09-17 07:31:34
What is that things problem? I might have to...dispose of it soon. I don't know. Anyway the site continues to improve! The next big thing is the archive system which desperately needs an overhaul. I'm sure that clicking on all those lovely pictures is endearing for a while but ultimately tiresome and unorganised. We'll think of something, have no fears.

nixon :: By the power of Ra :: On Date: 2008-09-16 13:45:22
Yes well...Look at that. Isn't that something? Look up there at our happy (well mostly happy) faces. Look at those bright colours! The lovely new links! Oh it's just great isn't it. This is just part 1 of HYPER update. Loving it really. More later.

pro_sephiroth :: Proper timestamps :: On Date: 2008-09-16 12:50:42
Well, the timestamps are looking good, except for one thing, they're in reverse, oh well, it's a problem we'll sort at a later date, for now, just enjoy the new design.

pro_sephiroth :: Woah! Whats going on!? :: On Date: 2008-09-16 12:08:51
Well, we're redesigning, we hope you like it, 'cause if you don't, we don't care, this has all been done in lightning time, it really is quite incredible, as is evidenced by the timestamps we've gone back in time to post all our news, we knew this stuff would be big when we grew up.

nixon :: Thass okay. :: On Date: 2008-09-12 08:54:27
We've already discussed Spore's retarded protection software so I decided to discuss it further in a rather unorthodox style. It might be an idea to visit http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1YJbCftjBI before you start asking the expected questions, such as "What the HELL happened to the comic??". Trust me. It will all make sense in due time.

pro_sephiroth :: Stalker review :: On Date: 2008-09-11 03:27:25
Well, here we are, and heres my stalker review, meh, now thats over and done with, i'm gonna review a game thats more than just a pretty face, the latest review is gonna be sins of a solar empire, since I don't wanna do a stalker review since all I can think to write about it is, meh, so anyway, i'm writing that one off and look forward to this one soon!

pro_sephiroth :: Gamers against DRM (And EA) :: On Date: 2008-09-09 23:35:53
Righty then, another nice little piece of new from everyones favourite game company :D We've got some news this morning that EA are going to be "lenient" with the amount of activations that they're going to allow the paying customer to have for red Alert 3, with spore, it was 3, with Red Alert 3 it's going to be 5, wooooooooooow. Now, this is only a grassroots movement at the moment, but there is a growing number of gamers who are sick of being treated like criminals while the pirates can play the game all they like, no restrictions apart from online play. So, I want everyone reading this to cancel their pre-order of red alert 3 if you have one, and I want you to download a pirate copy, it's about time EA found out that DRM does more to alienate the user than to stop piracy!

nixon :: Last one :: On Date: 2008-09-09 15:22:02
Last comic I'm afraid. Seems the world ends at 8am GMT tomorrow morning. It's been a blast. Later.

pro_sephiroth :: Spore review :: On Date: 2008-09-09 12:32:06
The spore review is up everybody! So go take a read, I also bought S.T.A.L.K.E.R. clear sky today, so expect a review of that pretty soon, if I can get the damn thing to run at more than a slideshow and get some gameplay stuff going.

pro_sephiroth :: WOOO MOTHERFUCKERS! :: On Date: 2008-09-04 04:04:39
Heeeeeells yeyaaar! I got my copy of spore through 3 days before the real release, screw all you'se, i'ma be AWOL for like, ever. But if I DO manage to tear myself away at some point, i'll write a review for y'all! Suckas!

nixon :: The joke is in the title :: On Date: 2008-09-01 04:58:10
New comic for all of you. I really shouldn't have to say that, since EVERY time I make a new news post I post a comic. Just tihnk of it as standard or at least a side order. Anyway, been playing a lot of Bionic Commando Rearmed lately and I think I might just review it although it does lean ever so slightly into reviewing a retro title like pac man which really should NEVER be done. Still with the graphical and gameplay updates I think I can get away with it. Anyway, enjoy your funny.

nixon :: It's here... :: On Date: 2008-08-29 07:24:18
I knew the revolution was coming, but I had no idea how quickly. So two things: One, Castle Crashers hit Xbox Live arcade which I mentioned before and I still havent managed to download it yet, but I did procure the trial version and it was a hell of a lot of fun slashing apart Barbarians with my friends. There's a lot to be said for co-op in games, in that more games NEED co-op. Secondly, The Red Alert 3 cast FMV has hit the internets and can easily be found on Youtube. Tim Curry as the menacing Russian Leader? Fuck YES.

pro_sephiroth :: I'm the same as you again :: On Date: 2008-08-29 02:53:36
Well, I WAS gonna review RA3, but since EA have decided to patch the shit out of it, and are insisting it's ONLY online, but the patch servers are slow as hell, and like I have 3 hours to download a patch when there are better things I could be doing like plaiting my earhair or plotting to overthrow the government of atlantis, so theres not gonna be a review of RA3 like I said, since I can't even be bothered to play it, watch for a review of the full game though, i'll review the single player since multiplayer sucks balls, unless it's a LAN.

nixon :: What's this? :: On Date: 2008-08-27 03:24:40
A comic? On a Wednesday? Hold on...those words at the top of the comics section say Monday and Friday? Don't they? Or can I just not read... Will this become a regular thing? Who knows...For now though just enjoy the stupidity.

nixon :: Live Arcade gems :: On Date: 2008-08-27 03:04:37
Castle Crashers hit Xbox Live Arcade today and I heartily recommend you purchase at LEAST the trial version as it is an incredibly fun and massively stylish co-op experience. I also recommend Bionic Commando: Rearmed for all the robotic arm death swinging you'll ever want to endure and finally, and this isn't a recommendation, fucking buy BRAID. BRAID is EXCELLENT and EVERYONE should have it, its a truly unique puzzle platformer that has finally managed to rekindle that feeling of true achievement on completion of its mind bending puzzles without the need of that little notification of gamerscore.

nixon :: Well roger me with a stiff wire brush... :: On Date: 2008-08-25 05:29:40
It's comic number 100...WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN? So much needs to be done! Candles! Cake! Invites! invites to whom you ask? Why the 4 people who actually read this comic of course! I kid, I kid, I'm pretty sure we have a few more viewers. Still its been fun producing these double length comics to compensate for the 2 weeks of missed updates, that and I thought you guys deserved something extra this time around. By the way, does anyone spot the rather understated reference to a certain incredinly important legal drama/comedy buried between the lines? A drama which stars CAPTAIN KIRK? No? Just me then? Okay...

nixon :: HOLY FUCK :: On Date: 2008-08-24 08:40:24
What a grand entrance. Yes, we're back. Back online, back on schedule and back in Black. Cue killer riff. The computer used to update the comic was virused as all hell and re-establishing a connection to the shifting void that is the internet has been nothing short of grueling. Anyway, a new comic is up and you might want to check the reviews section for more juicy updates that I couldn't mention before. Expect another double lenght new comic tomorrow, until then...courage.

pro_sephiroth :: I'm better than you :: On Date: 2008-08-08 07:09:00
Well, I got my invite through for the red alert 3 beta trial, so i'll knock together a review after i've played it some, it's only multiplayer so i'll see how people online are playing and it should be fun to test out the range of units and shit.

nixon :: The reviewening! :: On Date: 2008-08-08 07:07:57
Ade has kindly passed on...another review! You thought he was dead didn't you? Shame on you. Shame. Anyway, today he takes his analytical fork to Soul Calibur 4 and sifts through the dark wastes of Namco to bring this new game into the promised light. Plus he reviews it.

nixon :: The more you play... :: On Date: 2008-08-04 06:02:50
...The more you come to realise exactly how many problems there are with a game. Grand Theft Auto 4 hit the shelves in a tidal wave of hype the wake of which saw very many copies remain in stores. Its one of those bizarre situations where no matter how popular a game is the copies never seem to run dry. I walked into my local (I say local, its about 30 minutes from my home on the bus) Gamestation and acquired myself a copy the day after release. I heard tales of muggings in the lines of midnight launches and even cold-blooded murder in the pursuit of this title. I had received warnings that I wouldn't be able to find this game ANYWHERE after the initial launch period and yet there it was. There THEY were. Hundreds of them. It baffled. Anyway, I seem to have wandered somewhat from my original point. The comic focuses on one aspect of the cleverly disguised lazy game design. GTA 4 is filled with all kinds of innovations such as Euphoria, The tragically underused RAGE engine, Cars that don't explode when you tip them upside down and all kinds of neat little touches and doodads that keep the game interesting to LOOK at. The RPG elements were pretty much stripped bare from the game to make way for more realistic, grittier game play in theory, but then the developers hike up the amount of radio satire you're constantly deafened by in transit. The game seems to want to broadcast a message of Americas state of affairs amidst the murder touting Republicans as gun touting anti- terrorist fascists who believe in one World under god whereas Democrats host light conversation talk shows and are more often than not presented as homosexuals. Nearly every character in the game is a drug addict or a pedophile, car chases are so heavily scripted there's little need to try and catch them before they inevitably crash into something, The police are still blood crazed maniacs, there is little to NO realism here in any way. I suppose its in how the game 'handles' and not how it plays out t

nixon :: The signal is coming from an outside source... :: On Date: 2008-07-30 10:35:13
One of our very own Super fans Adrian Mann has contributed a sterling review of Ninja Gaiden 2 for your reading pleasure. It should be noted that Adrian is the authority on Ninjas and the gaming that ensues when they are in close proximity, plus he can own your ass at Dead or Alive. Seriously. Like, don't even turn the console on.

nixon :: So there's your answer... :: On Date: 2008-07-28 04:57:55
...To what I am sure was a very pressing question. You were just too afraid to ask. Its okay, we'll always be there to plumb the depths of the cosmos clawing and digging for those vital answers. So anyway, the Dark Knight. Yes The Dark Knight. What can I say really that every other website in the world hasn't said already? Well for one I can say that the movie isn't perfect. No movie ever is, period. What I can say is that the Dark Knight is an outstanding achievement and a truly inventive comic book adaptation taking the personalities of the already established characters to entirely new levels. I can't review this movie. I would like to but I really can't. I don't think my meager literary talents could really do this flick justice. Go out and see it. See it twice. See it three times. Enjoy it while it lasts, then buy the DVD and enjoy it some more. I will. Oh and also go see Wall-E. God help me I LOVE that little guy.

nixon :: Like music in the air :: On Date: 2008-07-25 03:03:41
The voices of Angels flutter about my person singing songs of praise in my ear like sweet wine. Today we see The Dark Knight. today the worthy will ascend to Heaven, and the sinners and unbelievers will be sent to Joel Schumacher. Anyway I've left you with my animated other for entertainment. Try not to laugh too much. He's very sensitive.

nixon :: Jubilations :: On Date: 2008-07-21 13:14:34
So yes its Jon's birthday. That should be a big deal to you people. Do you not value another human beings life above your own? What's wrong with you, you cold bastards? Anyway, enjoy the first anniversary of his tenth birthday with mirth and merriment.

nixon :: New avatars and stuff :: On Date: 2008-07-18 11:27:14
Yes the newest comic has debuted....daybewed....it's online. I've also got myself a brand spanking new avatar. Andy will be getting one soon as well. The new comics WILL be appearing every Monday and Friday from here on, no excuses. If a day goes without a comic then I shall craft a SECOND comic in penance. You'll see other attributes of the site begin to change as well as new content being delivered over the coming weeks but I'll keep those a secret. For now enjoy the new comic, and believe EVERY word of it.

nixon :: Okay okay :: On Date: 2008-07-16 04:52:38
Decided to '86 the Team Fortress 2 parodies. I'm going to be removing the current one as well. You already know the characters so it feels like a waste of time. Watch this space.

nixon :: And so it Begins :: On Date: 2008-07-05 04:29:23
The beginning of the beginnining... so to speak. I got it into my head that the first 100 strips were an experimental phase to try and establish a kind of working art style. Obviously this was a terrible idea but hey, I just ran with it. Anyway, these familiar introductory strips will form the countdown to the official beginning of the Drifters saga where our true story will begin. Expect laughter, peril, and most importantly actual storylines! So let's kick off with THE SINGLE MOST important introduction (yeah, right). Take it away...me!

nixon :: Jocularity :: On Date: 2008-07-03 07:44:53
A new comic graces the ever changing form of the information super highway and I quite like it. Well...mostly. If you don't get it then you obviously don't recall my fascination with Frank Miller and his incredible Sin City series.

nixon :: Gun's of Shady Acres :: On Date: 2008-06-26 14:57:02
...in ode of the new review the latest comic takes a page from the last chapter of the fourth most Solid of Metal Gears and injects a dose of that wonderful funny.

pro_sephiroth :: It's a really good game :: On Date: 2008-06-26 13:13:08
So, my MGS4 review is up, so go read it, and follow the instructions carefully, your life and the life of your family could depend upon it!

nixon :: 'Cause this is Thriller. :: On Date: 2008-06-25 05:43:18
Alone in the Dark review is up. To tell the truth its a decent game and I did enjoy it but the girl's got issues.

nixon :: Bits and pieces I picked up along the way :: On Date: 2008-06-21 12:43:41
Okay, firstly there's a new comic up (finally) so yeah, go read it and save me having to apologise further. Secondly, the Spore Creature Creator is absolutely brilliant fun, especially if you get the full version, and you really can create pretty much anything you want. There's already evidence of Pokemon creations and the moulding of a truly ancient Deep Crow which are all on youtube for your viewing pleasure (not made by me though). Thirdly I've just blasted my way through Alone in The Dark stopping along the way to pick up some thinly disguised collection side quests and some ridiculous but satisfying achievements and I'm proud to say that it's my first 1000 in my games list. It would have been Assassin's Creed but I just couldn't find all those fucking King Richard flags so my congratulations go out to all those who've made the Creed their bitch, you know who you are. I'll have a review of Alone in The Dark up soon but until then...Courage.

nixon :: It is alive :: On Date: 2008-06-17 13:50:04
It's finally here, I can stop waiting. Cancel Christmas, I don't need it anymore. I have the Spore Creature Creator. And I am happy.

pro_sephiroth :: Fucking Sick! :: On Date: 2008-06-11 06:31:41
Holy motherfucking shit, MGS4 came today, a day before it's officially released, it's installing right now, with a nice real time render of snake chain smoking, only 2 minutes to go motherfuckers! I'll crank out those other 2 reviews then get right onto this one once i've given it a thorough play-through. Peace y'all!

nixon :: For he is Lord :: On Date: 2008-06-08 15:40:55
That time is upon us, to gather ourselves up and prepare for the great pilgrimage. I'm of course talking about Download Festival 2008. Many beers will be drunk and I may enter a state of euphoric fantasy in which a hideous doppleganger actually updates the fucking site on time. Anyway, I'm going to be getting drunk a lot next week, so peace out.

pro_sephiroth :: Well i've got nothing to do... :: On Date: 2008-06-05 01:45:47
So i'm gonna post a random nonsensical news post :D i'll probably delete it later, but hey, whats 5 minutes of fun... WahoOO!

nixon :: A typical day :: On Date: 2008-06-03 09:58:20
New comic. No one can ever say that this topic hasn't come up in conversation. I've just blasted my way through Stranglehold, the John Woo game that serves as a kind of sequel to Hard Boiled, in which you star as Chow Yun Fat. It was a pretty badass experience and on the later difficulties some of the boss fights become tense terrifying experiences. It's one of the only games that really brought back that adrenaline pumping experience usually achieved after staying up until 6am to beat Phantom Ganon in the Forest Temple...What? That fucker was HARD. I'm not sure about the revolutionary 'Tequila Time' though...

pro_sephiroth :: Retro Playthrough :: On Date: 2008-06-01 14:44:26
So, i've been going over some of my old games, and I came accross two little gems from back in the day Oddworld: Abes Exoddus, and Heart of Darkness, both games as difficult as tying your shoelaces with one hand tied behind your back, a bear gnawing of the other while angry wasps attack your eyes and your balls are engulfed by zombies. But anyway, i'm gonna do a retro review thingy so watch this space, anyone who remembers these will know how much they rule, and how good these reviews will be.

nixon :: The joke was in the title :: On Date: 2008-05-27 09:36:54
New comic is up. Yes I am looking forward to The Spirit. The Frank Miller adaptation, while looking pretty much exactly like Sin City, is no bad thing. This is because Sin City fucking rules and is an excellent comic book adaptation movie. I keep seeing these comments where people complain that Frank Miller was ripping off Robert Rodriguez's style of art direction. Frank Miller was brought in on Sin City because it was HIS and he wanted to direct the style that the movie would follow. I'm not going to keep arguing about this. It's almost pointless. Just see The Spirit when it comes out. It looks brilliant.

pro_sephiroth :: New Reviews! :: On Date: 2008-05-22 12:24:59
Well, I got around to doing them this afternoon, so get over to the reviews section and get reading! or don't, it's up to you

pro_sephiroth :: Tribute to a Legend :: On Date: 2008-05-22 03:53:47
I know he's a rival reviewer, but this man deserves the publicity, he is Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw, and if you've never heard of him, stick a pencil between your middle and ring finger and squeeze hard inward. His reviews are found here: http://www.escapistmagazine.com/profiles/view/Yahtzee%20Croshaw now go! Sort your lives out.

pro_sephiroth :: Ooopsie :: On Date: 2008-05-22 03:48:02
Well, it's that time of the month again, and the reviews I promised like... what was it now? a month ago? SHOULD be coming soon, but it's that time of the year where it's the mad rush to get all the work in before deadlines and pray to Odin that the shit gets passed. Anyway, enough ranting about work, it's time for a week off after tomorrow and those long awaited reviews will be coming sometime in that week, so look forward to it. I'm also gonna work hard on the forums and getting some STILL broken shit on this site fixed, so keep checking up on us, we'll get this heap of junk up and running soon enough!

nixon :: He's a demon on wheels :: On Date: 2008-05-18 16:38:31
Saw Speed Racer. As generic as the story is it's true that the film makes it for it as a visual extravaganza. The blending of strobe lighting and extreme contrast colours is an actual feast for the eyes. I felt gorged coming out of the screening, though it didn't cause the same adrenaline rush as Crank, it's still a thoroughly enjoyable Summer romp. One of the highlights is John Goodman wrestling a ninja. Didn't they watch The Big Lebowski? Didn't they see the inevitable result coming?

nixon :: Rolling with it :: On Date: 2008-05-16 15:12:05
New comic. New font. It's a hell of a lot easier to use than the last one and much clearer to read at smaller sizes. Expect a 110% increase in...something.

nixon :: GTA 4 :: On Date: 2008-05-14 13:45:09
Review is up. Go see. Or not. I'm tired. Don't judge me. I may have to cry now.

nixon :: Conclusionations :: On Date: 2008-05-14 05:51:33
You'd have thought that the Scrubs finale would have produced a bit more hubbub, but it seems that the fans simply don't care anymore. Personally I can't blame them. As a huge fan of Scrubs I was, for want of a better word, mortified at the lack of quality in the last season. Laverne returns from the grave to appear in two episodes, the Janitor's name is never revealed, none of the larger plot lines are really resolved and the thing that really threw me was this big arc about Kelso losing his job and Cox being appointed Chief of Medicine...only for Kelso to return in the last episode as if NOTHING had happened and he was still in charge. It was like the episodes were written out of order, maybe I'm right and the writers strike managed to REALLY throw them off course. I mean it's the main catalyst in the series' cancellation. I don't know, it just seems that the cast and crew were sort of waiting for something like this to happen just for a legitimate excuse to finally put the series to rest.

nixon :: Old news :: On Date: 2008-05-10 07:36:27
I know that it's old news but I've been reading up on the Grand Theft Auto 4 launch violence, particularly the stabbing and mugging cases that were kept in the media spotlight for a short time. I know that that there are, quite frankly, bonkers dickheads who HAVE to have the game the micro-second it's released onto the market (excluding online pre-orders since you don't leave the house to hurt people...unless you're THAT dedicated) but the actual act of physical violence just to get a hold of a game first is quite disturbing. Especially since this game was the FUCKING EASIEST THING TO GET A HOLD OF EVER. Let me explain. My GTA 4 buying experience consisted of these following steps: Game pre-ordered a month before release, game pre-order canceled in favour of buying it the day of release, realisation that I have better things to do than go to a midnight launch...like sleeping, get up at 11am the following day, eat breakfast, hop on bus into town, get off bus, walk into gamestation, pick up copy off shelf, buy, travel to Sam's house, enjoy the GTA 4 goodness. This proves that the casual buying experience WORKS. It was the same for Gears of War. The midnight launch was an enormous event with games literally flying off the shelves...for about 5 minutes. The next day there were hundreds of the bloody things all over the place. Games do not sell out on the day of their launch anymore because, it is my belief, that people are finally realising that you don't HAVE to have it on the day it comes out, it won't lessen the experience in any way. Just thought I'd put this out there, seeing as how the only game I would consider going to a midnight launch for this year is Dead Space. Seriously. Search for Dead Space online. It looks brilliant.

nixon :: Another Iron Man comic? :: On Date: 2008-05-08 06:12:26
Yes it's true! But this time it's a good one! I have my on and off days with the comic, I can't deny. By the illustration standards of this one many people (I say many) would wonder why my previous comics haven't been as tidy. I can't honestly explain, I've tried various methods to keep my work consistent but so many of my comics are just plain bad. I might go back to black and white soon and try to make a decent go of that, what do you think?

nixon :: New article :: On Date: 2008-05-06 10:19:52
Slash rant. I basically spew my bile over the worst aliens from a collection of movies, games and series. Some things just aren't meant to be and these prosthetic parodies are some of them.

nixon :: Pure joy :: On Date: 2008-05-05 08:55:17
Going to see Iron Man today. I hope it's as good as you say it is. Or I'll kill you. Yeah you. Right there. I'm looking at you now. Don't pretend you don't know. I'm everywhere.

nixon :: The Bandwagon :: On Date: 2008-04-28 08:06:20
And the said jumping on of it...of...jumping onto it. Yeah. ANYWAY. Grand Theft Auto 4 tomorrow. I will secure it and play it AND review it. Pinky swear.

nixon :: Eloquence :: On Date: 2008-04-19 05:33:48
Could it be? That hulking mass of exhaustion and twisted bone on the horizon? An update? Yes! Yes it is! Okay so it's been a bit longer than I'd like without a sputter of appreciation to you people by dispensing one of my series of humour squares but let me explain. You see it's all because of this game called Mass Effect. I know I'm not the quickest on the take when it comes to next gen phenomena such as this game but you have to understand that I have a pathological hatred for the RPG game play mechanic. I hate turn based combat and I hate random battles because they become more of a petulant exercise in annoyance rather than a chance to level up my mans. Mass Effect is all of the tings I like about RPG's such as the storyline and the characters without any of the extra battle rubbish piled on top. In other words; "I get to shoot stuff and move at the same time!". This game has taken up more of my time than any other 360 title I've played so far. Surveying all those planets and crunching all those juicy side quests has become a kind of wonderful treat that I've come to truly enjoy and I whole-heartedly recommend this title to anyone who hasn't already played it (which is like two percent of the world at this point). Addendum: You also get to be a lesbian. How many games offer that kind of freedom? Hmm? HMM? I'll be quiet now.

pro_sephiroth :: Metal Gear Solid Online Beta Stylings! :: On Date: 2008-04-18 06:56:55
So, I grabbed the Metal Gear Solid Online beta off the Playstation store today, and after the frankly MASSIVE update, and on monday morning I shall begin playing (The beta opens monday)and spurt forth a review from the internal damnations of the hive-mind.

nixon :: Double-Tekku! :: On Date: 2008-04-10 16:43:13
Yes. Look once. By all means look Twice. Note the completely NEW ART STYLE. OMG. Seriously though this is something I've been meaning to do for a while. As a man who draws silly little pictures of men being eviscerated and friends destroying each other both physically and mentally I'm obligated to loathe every single stroke of the pencil, drop of the ink and gleam of the pixel. Why? Because I'm an artist and artists HATE their work. Thanks to my partners in crime, however, I had a kind of revelation. Just because I hate my work it doesn't mean everyone else has to by proxy so I've decided to actually start giving two shits about delivering the finest ocular feast I possibly can. I garnished the comic in the past with a dash of colour and maybe a few shadows here and there but they only really stood as a kind of Chili Sauce to a bowl of rice. The meal was perfectly bland before in all it's white (and black)ness but colour helped move the comic into a brighter spotlight. If you're keeping up I've switched from a food metaphor to Shakespearian theatre, if not then I'm sorry but I have to leave you behind. Some of use are trying to LEARN. Where was I? Oh dammit. Anyway, What I'm trying to say is that updates WILL be more frequent and the comics WILL keep getting better and better rather than the usual "Oh my god I'm so hungover and it's Monday morning I'd better get my pet Moorhen Steve to scratch a comic for me. Things can only get better people so stay tuned.

nixon :: Where you keep your 2 X 4's :: On Date: 2008-04-09 07:18:23
2 difficulties in 2 days. Condemned 2 is a decent length and finely tuned in terms of difficulty but still...I apparently KICK ASS at beating up the homeless.

nixon :: Never Saw it coming :: On Date: 2008-04-07 09:59:23
The funny is in the title people. Come on. Get it together. Anyway, moving briskly onwards it's come to my attention that there will be another SAW film gracing our theaters sometime this year. Now, I haven't seen the latest installment of this bafflingly successful series but I'm pretty sure that Jigsaw is pretty dead. Well dead some have been heard to say. The tapes in the stomach bit was a good enough reason for the butchery to continue but after that you really have to stop and think where they could possibly go from here. Was it his twin brother on the morgue slab? Is it even Jigsaw? Is Jigsaw really Cronos's Jesus Gris? Who the fuck knows? Or even CARES at this point? I've heard tell that the next movie will employ a trap that could actually KILL the actor inside it. Paramedics will be on stand-by to, judging by the growing intensity of these medieval devices, pick up what's left of Greg Gunberg. I'm assuming he's in the next one since he opted out of reprising his role as Condemned's disgraced SCU agent Ethan Thomas and will most likely be looking for an incredibly similar project to sink his teeth into. I had also heard rumour that a GAME was in development of the Saw series that would continue the story so I'm rather glad that the game could have been axed at this point to make way for a new film because since the fallout of Manhunt 2 mankind has been snuffling like a hungry Pig with great anticipation for a new scapegoat for societies problems. Don't worry though, we've got GTA IV on the way so I suppose I can wait a month before taking my shit encrusted mac out of the airing cupboard.

nixon :: The Anti-Zee :: On Date: 2008-04-05 06:06:38
You may notice that Andy's reviewing style is filled with the kind of colourful (There goes that spellchecker again) Doe-eyed optimism that you'd ordinarily see on the face of an 8 year old whose just been told Bruce Campbell is coming to dinner and he needs to go get all of his Evil Dead stuff for him to sign (Best.Night.EVER.) I have therefore playfully dubbed him the AntiZee since he, maybe inadvertently, goes against the usual slamming of a title so many other reviewers have come accustomed to. In the words of Anton Ego "Negative reviews are both fun to write and to read." which may be true but positive reviews are so seldom these days that it's great to be able to really pour praise on a game every once in a while. The only game that I can never give praise for is Dark messiah of Might and Magic: Elements for the Xbox 360. That game raped the PC original with it's retarded game play so blatantly dumbed down for the audience demographic. Suck my balls DMOMAM:E.

pro_sephiroth :: Double reviiiiiiiiieeeeewwww! :: On Date: 2008-04-05 04:29:14
As promised earlier this week, I have completed my GT5:Prologue review, and as an extra little thingymabob of ramblomation, I have formed a Viking: Battle for Asgard review for all you fine people, and if you don't like it, it's not my problem.

nixon :: All Killer :: On Date: 2008-04-04 14:30:50
No filler. Though I suppose you could call it a filler comic, but I'd rather not as it makes me look lazy and, dare I say, bad. I wish I could say I had a good reason for the lateness...and I can. Thing is though I'm not going to tell you suffice to say the reason is papery and colourful (The spellchecker is telling me 'colourful' is spelled wrong. I'm laughing.) It's been a while since I posted any reviews but with Andy's' upcoming Grand Turismo blabbathon I don't really see the need. Perhaps I'll get around to that Naruto: Rise of a Ninja review but then again I don't suppose many of you would care seeing as you find the comics, of all things, funny.

pro_sephiroth :: GT5... Prologue :: On Date: 2008-03-31 09:39:10
Well, I got my copy of the little piece of solid gold that is Gran Turismo 5 Prologue, I shall be playing it through thoroughly, and coming back with a review for you folks shortly.

Peace!

nixon :: Once again :: On Date: 2008-03-28 18:06:53
A new comic emerges, but what foul deeds will those simians commit? Sorry for the punctuation of my last news post but I really haven't gotten used to actually proof-reading things yet, which is scary because I'm in my second year of University and I really need to be doing that sort of thing more often. As you may or may not know GTA IV is only a month away now and I for one am bloody excited. It's a real treat to see so many different technologies coming together to create the next Grand Theft Auto of all things. You've got a brand new physics engine in there, Euphoria for enhanced character movement and of course the RAGE engine to wrap it all up with a pretty bow. I suppose it'll have to do until Star Wars: The Force Unleashed...

nixon :: The system is NOT down :: On Date: 2008-03-26 17:24:52
The Feedback system does work, and we DO care what you think. ...I love to lie.

nixon :: Dean's back :: On Date: 2008-03-26 09:47:13
and bad. Dean's been around for the last few days on Easter holiday (or VAYEE-KAY-SHONE, for you American types) from Nottingham University. The revelry has been non stop, as far as getting drunk and playing copious amounts of video games goes and we've all been very busy enjoying ourselves, which is why the comic is once again a bit late. In honour thought, today's comic has actually had a does of EFFORT put into it and is dedicated to the DEAN who also happens to be the master of pranks. We'd be masters to if we...you know...ever pulled any.

nixon :: Rolling like a stone :: On Date: 2008-03-24 06:00:07
/tumbleweed

nixon :: In as many days? :: On Date: 2008-03-21 08:19:26
That's right, more comics for you peasants. I let my update schedule get a little lax so I stuck an extra one up here...well actually I stuck a new comic up that should have been up a while ago but wasn't so now it IS up and...Oh whatever just read it and chuckle.

nixon :: Curtains Down... :: On Date: 2008-03-20 11:56:45
No matter what disguise I wear, the guards ALWAYS know I'm a Hitman when I try to leave the Opera House. It's...infuriating.

nixon :: Shadow Clone Jutsu :: On Date: 2008-03-18 10:25:22
So Naruto: Rise of a Ninja is actually pretty good. Well, it's pretty good in only the way that finding-a-little-bastard-that-can-inexplicably-climb-the-tallest-of-buildings-forty-something-times can be. Seriously though, the gameplay is fun and the sidequests are rewarding and although the game throws constant repetitious battles in your face every time you re-visit an area you don't get angry by it, you learn to love it because beating up a guy with 8 copies of yourself is always a blessing.

pro_sephiroth :: Soulstorm review :: On Date: 2008-03-15 10:02:30
My new DoW: Soulstorm review is up, so read it, or be eternally damned to the fires of hell, you ungrateful idiots.

nixon :: It's here :: On Date: 2008-03-14 08:16:53
I'm not queer but I will have a beer. Army of Two review is up. Read at your own peril.

nixon :: It's on it's way :: On Date: 2008-03-13 10:31:39
The great tide. The unstoppable torrent. The powerful gust. My review of Army of Two. Yes, I am doing it and it will be something you'll tell your kids about.

pro_sephiroth :: Some more nifty stuff :: On Date: 2008-03-12 12:51:54
Well, some of you may have noticed there have been some changes around here, first of all, omg news changes, yes, we're going mysql now, database bishes! the feedback has changed, the main news has changed to it too, and i've added in titles, so you can see what we're gonna be talking about before we've even talked about it! nifty huh?

Plus, my soulstorm review comes in a few days, so be ready, 'cause it's a good'un. Also, we may have jamies Army of Shi.. I mean Two if he decides that he's actually gonna write it (I've played it, I know it's rubbish, if he doesn't do one I will), anyway, possibly more updates coming soon! Watch this space!

pro_sephiroth :: No Title :: On Date: 2008-03-11 10:05:32
Something not normally done here soon, i'm gonna be reviewing the new firefox majigger, firefox 3, I have the beta version, and it's looking pretty nifty, moar news to come :o

nixon :: No Title :: On Date: 2008-03-11 03:16:42
Turns out I didn't need to write that review. It's all summed up in the newest comic. Actually I might write that review after all...that is once I've picked up the little pieces of joy I once had.

pro_sephiroth :: No Title :: On Date: 2008-03-07 01:45:02
Excellent work man, y'know what else kicks apples? I've got my copy of DoW: Soulstorm, and i'll be reviewing it too in about a weeks time, once i've had the chance to thoroughly play through EVERYTHING. On other news, some of you may have noticed "OMG The forums are missing!", that is, if you check anymore from all the bots, well, i've got some new ones on the way, better, faster, moar shiny! Moar info to come soon!

nixon :: No Title :: On Date: 2008-03-06 09:04:35
Do you know what kicks Apples? I'm picking up my copy of Army of Two tomorrow and you know I'll be all up ons that bitch. Expect a review of this co-op tactical shooter sometime later in the week when I've finished it's sorry ass.

pro_sephiroth :: No Title :: On Date: 2008-03-05 06:52:27
As you may notice, avatars are active. The brand spanking new system is finally fully up and running, so we're ready to roll now.

nixon :: No Title :: On Date: 2008-03-04 15:56:09
Gnuest webcomic, Super Service, is live. It tackles with the tender subjects of love, jealousy and death.

nixon :: No Title :: On Date: 2008-03-04 15:19:42
In the words of the nameless Black Marine from Transformers: "Bring the rain!". Yeah, the site has undergone some changes. The Biographies section has seen some work and you may, or may not, have noticed that the comics are being coloured now and actually look half decent! There's a bunch of new reviews up as well, including my critique on Turok which, not unlike a high rise flat, has many many flaws. Though I supposed when you spell it out the joke isn't really half as funny...Hmmm.

pro_sephiroth :: No Title :: On Date: 2008-03-04 12:22:21
Well, you may have noticed a few changed up in this place, first of all, the menu is now at the top, this just makes it easier to get to all the fine stuff on this website, the second thing, the main page has been replaced with *gasp* news, this will make it easier for you to see whats new, and not have to make you go to the news page to see what new shit we got going on, since this new majigger only displays the latest news available to all you fine citizens, the only thing not going yet are the avatars, which i'm sure will be coded soon, peace out yo's.